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Older Today's thought

26September00

If the sky wasn't so cloudy wouldn't it be a sunny day!

25September00

If women are so infallible, why isn't one allowed to be Pope?

24September00

A democracy is where elected representatives make decisions against the will of the majority of the people.

23September00

24 hours is normally sufficient time for your greatest worry to be of no substance.

22September00

I'm sure I had deja vu before.

21September2000

Tell a child she is clever and she will be. Tell a child she is good and she will be. Tell a child he is naughty and he will be!

20September00

When did you last tell each of your family that you loved them?

19September00

A lie is a problem waiting to be discovered.

18September00

Those who spend four years training for the Olympics are doing it for themselves and not for their country.

17September00

Sometimes what you give up to gain something is worth more than your achievement.

16September00

Do what you believe is the right thing and not the most popular.

15September00

Make every effort to be yourself in life - no-one else can be!

14September00

The frailties of capitalism and democracy are exposed by a petrol shortage of less than one week's duration.

13September00

First rule of politics: Never make promises to the electorate that they can remember. (Tony Blair promises the fuel crisis will be solved within 24 hours - it isn't!)

12September00

People are greedy and stupid when they get involved in a shortage and take much more than can use, thus preventing someone with a greater need from having anything.

11September00

People will believe anything. The way to create a shortage is to say something is in short supply. (petrol crisis in UK!)

10September00

The trouble with being philosophical about life is that it is a hard word to spell.

9September00

The secret of being happy and not being disappointed with life is to set your objectives really low!

8September00

If every setback is an opportunity, then most of us must have missed loads of opportunities.

7September00

Throughout our married life, my poor wife has suffered from sinus trouble; its been "sign us this cheque, sign us that cheque....."

6September00

I used to be forgetful, but now I don't remember if I am or not!

5September2000

Whether you think "the company" is the balance sheet, the profit and loss, the directors, or the employees, tells me a lot about you as a person.

4September2000

When I was a teenager, sex was what the coalman delivered coal in.

3September00

A woman considers how much she is saving, whereas a man reviews how much he is spending.

2September00

If you have to use two hands to count your true friends you are indeed lucky.

1September00

Most people's dogs have got a better chance of knowing the computer password than any hacker!

31August00

Instinct is often a better judge than logic.

30August00

It's knowing when to give up that makes you a winner.

29August00

In a time when communications have never been better, why is conversation almost a lost art?

28August00

Those good old days were only good because you were young.

27August00

Jessica (aged 4): "One day I'll fly in an aeroplane."

Penny: "Pardon, what did you say?"

Jessica: "I was only thinking to myself."

26August00

Hindsight is something others have, whereas you knew it wouldn't work at the time.

25August00

The only excusable mistakes are the ones you make yourself.

24August00

There is no greater pleasure than proving someone else wrong.

23August00

I've told my daughter a million times not to exaggerate.

22August00

Real hurt is being ignored.

21August00

At 50 you can only look forward to grandchildren and death - not necessarily in that order!

20August00

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be either!

19August00

The older I get, the better I was.

18August00

If the Law is always right, why do we need to employ a Parliament of more than 600 MP's to keep changing it?

17August00

If sex appeal is hereditary, does that explain what Tom Jones has in his jeans?

16August00

Whoever said, "There's no such thing as a free meal" never met my children.

15August00

OK, so how many famous inventors were born in the USA? The answer is none, all famous inventors were only babies when they were born.

14August00

If Isaac Newton hadn't invented gravity, would we all now be falling off the planet?

13August00

If Isaac Newton had been sitting underneath a coconut tree, would he have broken his skull and never invented gravity?

12August00

The young may not be perfect, but they have more time to improve on things than the old.

11August00

Death is something that only happens to other people.

 

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