Older Today's thought
Your first child you nurture, worry and fuss about. Your second child you neglect.
If Bill Gates had a dollar for every time his Windows programs crash, he would be one of the richest men on earth.
If you like yourself you have a friend for life!
Treat every day as if it is your last, then one day you'll be right!
Opportunities in life are given, success is earned.
If you feel fed up, consider when you last felt prolonged hunger.
Whoever said "You can't judge a book by it's cover" hadn't seen a copy of Playboy Magazine!
Don't be late twice on the same day - always leave work five minutes early!
Few can climb the mountain without pushing someone else off.
Those with the smallest purses usually have the biggest hearts.
Whoever said "Two can live as cheaply as one" obviously had not met my wife.
Spend half your life chasing fame and you'll spend the other half hiding from it.
Get some grandchildren. They make you realise that your own life has been worthwhile after all and that through them you have immortality!
If you expect thanks and gratitude, then you have not truly given.
Can someone tell me - is sterility hereditary?
Be nice to your kids, as they will choose which old people's home you stay in!
Perfection is something that women expect to find in a man, but never can! So they try to change the man they have.
Motivation (3) - Often, all you need to do to motivate someone is to stop de-motivating him.
Motivation (2) - Self-motivation is the purest means of improvement.
Motivation (1) - Praise and thanks are the best forms of motivation and the least used.
If you give your child love, nothing else matters.
People are happy to pay for advice, but hate to get it for free.
The harder I work, the richer the boss gets.
The harder I try, the luckier I get.
He who laughs last has no sense of humour and didn't get the joke.
There are people I don't like, so why get upset if someone doesn't like me?
The things you worry about never happen, so why worry? It's the unexpected that brings disaster. So ok, I worry about the unexpected!
Irene at work mentioned the Chairman's daughter had borrowed £5 from her several weeks previously and then a further £1 for lunch and not paid it back. I gave her the drawing on the left and told her to leave it on her desk. If she was asked what the drawing was she could reply "That's the sick squid you borrowed from me and haven't yet repaid."
Self esteem is the highest level of achievement.
Dull people have immaculate homes.
In adversity true friends identify themselves.
Never do today what you can put off 'till tomorrow.
They say you can't do enough for a good boss - most people don't.
A good conversationalist is someone who listens.
If I was related to Tony Blair, it would drive me to drink! (Blair's 16 year old son found paralytic in street. Poor kid, we've all been there! Well actually I haven't!)
Of those who tell you they went to the University of Life, few have gained a Degree in any subject!
Crime in the UK is now worse than in the USA. Except you are six times more likely to get murdered in America. Guess where I feel safest?
I like hard work - I could watch it all day!
Hard work never killed anyone .... but why risk it?
How come that great ideas always seem mediocre by the following day?
They say that a woman's work is never done. If she got on with it and stopped talking all the time it would be!
Those who make the least mistakes often do less of the work!
The man who frequently gives advice seldom takes it.
Yesterday the seven year old son of a work colleague swallowed a 5 pence coin and was taken to the local hospital and left in overnight for observation. This morning his mother telephoned the hospital to enquire about her son's health and was told "no change".
Experience is something that by the time you have it you've already messed up!
At Glastonbury Festival 2000 there were "official" people with orange jackets walking along collecting tickets from cars in the queues waiting to get in. They were then selling them further down the line to people without tickets!
At a wedding reception a couple of years ago John mentioned he had been married 30 years. He was asked what sort of anniversary stone that was and replied "a mill stone."
Serious thought. Re yesterday's news on Gary Graham from Texas..... www.lifelines.org
If all the world's politicians were laid end to end, would it stop spinning?
An optimist is someone who sees a glass as half full, whereas a pessimist sees it as half empty. The realist knows the glass is half empty, unless it is in the process of being filled! The opportunist and the alcoholic drink what is left in the glass.
Happiness is being content with what you have. (This does not apply if you are starving!)
England out of Euro 2000. Does it matter? Not in the least. Can someone please explain why with only a population of some 50 millions, the English Press expect our sportsmen to win everything we enter.
Now that David Beckham has helped England beat Germany, resulting in their continued progress in Euro 2000, the English Press are saying he is "the best thing since sliced bread".
Is that "thick sliced bread?"